I Remember a Time

I remember a time
Back when our innocence was Christmas
And love was Christmas
And peace was Christmas
And Joy was Christmas

Today I cancelled a haircut
I cancelled a haircut because I’m living on the bones of my arse
And I don’t want my child to wake up to no presents
I don’t want his pile of pleasure to be meagre and sparse
And the sense of pride I felt walking out of the toy shop
With 2 bags of toys and hair looking like crap
When I’m caught in the commercialism of our days
Caught in the have, have, have, not need, trap.
Like a vulture lurking over a dying breed
Like a human possessed by consumer greed.

Today I went to the cashpoint
And took out my last fifty pounds
Hoping my child tax credit will stop me making the cash convertors rounds
And being a mother, I always come last
And being a widow, I wear a happy mask
And where are the presents for me?
But I am so used to being the invisible recipient
I only get the gifts that come free
The ones you cannot see.
And that is ok
By me.

Today I put up the tree
A bargain from the pop up Christmas shop
Looks like shit but once the gaudy baubles hide
Its anorexic branches, once the lights are twinkling
Then the cheap as shit look will stop.
And it stands there proudly
As proud as any rich bitch tree
A symbol of years of austerity
But I don’t care
My tree says I have tried
I have really tried

Money is nice, it buys things
It buys things
But I remember when simplicity was Christmas
I remember when gratefulness was Christmas
I remember when asking for nothing was Christmas

And I wonder where did it all go horribly wrong
When did the world start singing this god awful consumerist song?

©2019 Sarah Drury

We Didn’t Care

Runny nose
Scabby knees
Skimming pebbles
Climbing trees
Dirty plasters
Nits in hair
Grimy hands
We didn’t care.

Cast off clothing
Socks as gloves
Bin bag sledges
Dens above
Staying out
Til sun had gone
Love me not
Am I the one?
Sindy dolls
With butchered hair
Times were hard
We didn’t care.

Slides stand tall
On hard concrete
Stand on swings
Jump off the seat
Health and safety
Load of rubbish
Heads cracked open
Children vanish
Want a sweetie
See my pups
Stay away
From weird grownups
Sunday school
Say a prayer
White or black
We didn’t care.

Cars no seatbelts
Smoke in pubs
Dicing death
Work men’s clubs
Cigarettes
Were everywhere
Juicy blackjacks
Penny a pair
Milk on doorsteps
Kiss or dare
Not a dime
We didn’t care.

No computers
No ipads
No iphones
Grumpy dads
Mums in aprons
Apple pie
Cute pet hamsters
Always die
Old gas fires
Huddle round
Kettle makes
A whistling sound
Nowt for breakfast
Cupboards bare
But we were happy
We didn’t care.

©2019 Sarah Drury