Tag: schizoaffective disorder

Strait Jacket

Published on by Sarah DruryLeave a comment

I am not an exceptional human being
for we all wear clothes
Slobbing around in PJ’s when
our tranquilized, minuscule world
is encapsulated
in a space called home
Killer heels when we’re facing the
fucked up world and we remember
who we are, and we straighten
our crowns
Perchance a smidgeon of warpaint
as our battle cries holler into
societal combat
Cherry lips and spider lashes
spun with purest L’Oreal

But I?
I wear a white strait jacket
White as in hospital issue
boiled to death grey
Sanitised and purity leeched
It looks rather smart with
my lithium eyes and my
lunacy smirk
I don’t wear it for ladies’ luncheons
as padded cells are lonesome bistros
And all that cutlery is contraband
And I’m not fucking Houdini

When my couture isn’t a
hospital inspired affair
I am living one
Valium junkie
Lithium chick
Watching the wall for
the clock tock ticks
which govern the drugs
which make me well
But make me sick
Don’t go high, you’ll crash
Don’t go low, you’ll crash
Can anyone tell me
how to score
a gram of sanity?

Does anyone want to
hold my strait jacket for me?
Try it on?
Wear it with me?

©2020 Sarah Drury

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Broken Wings

Published on by Sarah Drury2 Comments

This poem is dedicated to anyone who has ever suffered with a mental illness.

I have two tattered wings
That sit like prayers
Upon my broken back
I thought I was an angel
But angels’ wings are usually white
I don’t know if they come
In shades of black
And I know I lack faith
I try to keep my eyes
To heaven in the sky
But my wings are too heavy
I try to help myself
To lift my soul, to fly
But each cloud is a traitor
Selling my sins for my lies
God tell me why
I am always falling
At the first demon?
Am I faithless?

I have two tattered wings
That sit like heavy burdens
Upon my fragile heart of gold
I’ve been trying
Not to sell my cut price soul
To the devil
Since losing my virginity
At seventeen sordid years old
I waited for Armageddon
But you pay for Heaven
In pieces of silver
Not in counterfeit gold
And my wings
Aren’t worth shit

I have two tattered wings
That sit like curses
Upon a mind of paranoia
And madness
I’ve been conversing
With the saints
If I say a prayer for a sick child
Will they take away this
Summertime sadness
It’s a bit late for me
For my shattered wings
To be made anew
There’re only so many things
These days
I can possibly do
Without going fucking
INSANE

But I’ll keep flying
Broken angel
Navigating those crazy skies
And I’ll keep peddling those
Happiness lies
Swallowing the pills I despise
And I’ll survive
On a wing
And a
prayer

©2020 Sarah Drury

Miracle

Published on by Sarah DruryLeave a comment

I suffer with Bipolar disorder and often wonder how the mentally ill were treated in Biblical times. There was a lot of talk of miracles and visions and I often wonder how much of this could be attributed to mental illness. Anyway, here’s a quick poem.

Miracles

Sweet Jesus
I often wonder that
With whores you
Would sit
But would you sit
With the crazy?
Would you have
A special seat
Beside you
There
For me?

Could we
While away
Our days
Discussing the
Theories
Of Sigmund Freud
Or hypothesising on
The
Disadvantages of
Mental asylums?

Maybe you would
Go that extra mile
And drop a lithium
And see if it
Fucks with
Your mind
In a not displeasing
Manner

Or perhaps
You could
Turn a loaf of bread
Into a cure
And exorcise
The demons
Away

People in the
Bible
Were always
Seeing visions
Experiencing miracles
And No-one ever
Dialled up
The psychiatrist

How is it that
Even though
The so called
SICK
Experience the same
Crazy shit
We don’t
Write bibles
Anymore

It’s all quite fascinating
And disturbing

Please
Jesus
Be a good boy
Swallow your pills
And we’ll medicate
The Miracles
away

©2020 Sarah Drury