Butterfly

I am having my hair dye today. I love the feel of walking out of the salon with my new head of shiny hair. It makes me feel like a Hollywood star. It inspired me to write this poem… Butterfly I dyed my hair today My crown of narcissistic thorns The mousey barbs lacerating myContinue reading “Butterfly”

My Christmas Tree's Still Up

My tree has been up since November and it’s still up. I don’t even notice it anymore, even though I look at it every day! I just can’t muster the motivation to take it down and put it away! So it inspired me to write this simple poem… My Christmas tree’s still up Sitting forlornContinue reading “My Christmas Tree's Still Up”

Bake Off

well I know it’s half a year away, but I was inspired to write a send up of the Great British Bake Off WARNING: the odd swear word Bake Off It’s getting to that time of year again When our screens are invaded by a farm load of corn fed, field raised, free range eggsContinue reading “Bake Off”

Hello

Bit of fun about being plus sized: Hello Hello It’s me in my plus size knickers Nothing to do with my obsession with Mars Bars, Twix, Dairy Milk or Snickers My plus size knickers Black satin, double gusset, masquerading as sexy, toyboy pickers Tailored for the Chinese takeaway, fish and chips, pepperoni lickers Hello It’sContinue reading “Hello”

Butlins

It’s holiday time, we’re going to Butlins Only fifteen sleeps ‘til our only break From this grimy, shitty council estate This holiday made of fine gold plate It’s going to be great, it’s a break from depressing It’s going to be bloody great! Two little girls in the dodgy hood Council kids but our mannersContinue reading “Butlins”