Childline Lockdown

With the Coronavirus lockdown, children are at even greater risk of abuse. This could be emotional, mental, sexual or physical, but a lot of the reports the NSPCC are getting are related to emotional abuse. It is proving harder for social workers to gain access to homes due to lack of personal protective equipment, social distancing and lack of staffing.

NSPCC can be contacted here:0808 800 5000 or via help@nspcc.org.uk

Here’s a poem I wrote through the eyes of a victim.

Childline Lockdown

I don’t know what
I did wrong
Cooped up
24 hours a day
Radio blaring
Incessantly
Happy people singing
Bullshit songs
To people in
Their bullshit lives
Abusive husbands
Battered wives
Shit scared kids
As tempers fry
And swift fists fly
And I swallow all
My tears
Cos if I cry
He will get angry
Again I’m
In enough
Fucking pain

I have a friend
I call him Ted
He’s been with me
Since I was two
Keeps the monsters
Out from under
The bed
Soaks up the blood
When my dad
Sees red
But it’s the monsters
In the daytime
I’m really scared of
I call them dad
And mum

Social workers
Knocking on the door
But mum knows how
To play it
Long sleeves
Hide the bruises
Walked into the door
Hit my head
On the table
So careless
One day I’d probably
End up dead
Social worker suspicious
But dad always says
I was clumsy

Ted understands me
I can tell him
Anything
When dad is
Screaming
Temper raging
Ted helps me to sing
Over the Rainbow
If I had a phone
Then I would ring
Childline
But it’s the fists
I fear

And it’s a long time
Till I am sixteen
Then I will tell
Them all
To fuck themselves
That day I’ll
Be queen
In my own kingdom
And there’ll be no
Fists for bombs
No ‘what did I do
So fucking wrong?’
And I will shine
That day
Like a
Rainbow

©2020 Sarah Drury

Blameless

I wasn’t sure whether to post this as it is something which sends shivers down my spines. I was groomed as a teen by a much older man and had a very close call one night. Thankfully, i didn’t see him anymore after the incident but i had the courage to speak up to him and tell him NO!

Blameless

I trusted you
Your golden words
Like sweetest honeydew
I, not even legal
Motives twisted
serpents like Medusa
my head anointed
with your snakes of
debauchery
Trust askewed like
Springtime
Cherry blossom
Scattered in
A dirty, secret, sordid
Rendezvous

Your silver tongue
Entrapped my childish
reverie
Painted strokes of
Watercolour gaiety
Grooming me with colours
Pastel streaks of cultured
Happy endings
Operas of leading ladies
And they all
Looked like me
But should a girl
Of fourteen years
Be perched upon a
Bitter, twisted
Almost ancient
Dirty, flirty
Predator’s knee

To the whole world
It was an abhorration
I knew
Your sinful
Intentions
Moulding guilt
Into the image of
My innocence
Carving filth
Into the statue of
My blamelessness
Dreaming too big
Sweetheart
You promised it all
But sometimes
The wisest choices
Are fathomed
by
The guiltless
And small
And it’s you
Who had the
Farthest
To fall

©2020 Sarah Drury