Apart

Apart

It is a sad day
When the death knell tolls
When two hearts must part
Ripped out of alabaster ribs
With a gut wrench fist
For the sake of muffled lips
And clackety tongued convention

It is a sad day
When I say goodbye
to a love who never was in bloom
I never picked your rose
Just gazed upon a fearful bud
whose petals curled and sighed
in fearful rumination

It is a sad day
When voices fail to
sing our songs of truth
Chrysalis consumes the butterfly
Wings of trepidation
soaring in a universe of
haves and have nots

We have not

©2020 Sarah Drury

Pride

PRIDE

When I was a child
girls stole sugar kisses on boys’ muddy lips
Champagne toasts to wedded men and women
My friends all had mothers and fathers
even if they didn’t know them
My storybooks were full of handsome princes
kissing apple-lipped maidens
Pages after pages were bullshit laden
And the TV was full of girls with boys
and happy-ever-after heterosexuality
And that was the myth of sexuality
Back in the day

We hurled around ‘insults’ that our mates were lesbos
And the lads were gay
But we didn’t realise we were buying into
a system of bitter prejudice and discrimination
Witch hunts, gay shaming and condemnation
and I never thought that one day
I would be ‘them’

We never saw two female lips entwined in a loving kiss
or two males in a passionate embrace
Now it is still a spectacle
consigned to its own sordid category
a ‘perverted disgrace’
The older generation still hushly whisper
‘ooo he’s gay you know’ and oppose the notion
of gay adoption and media exposure
God forbid the media give their viewing a promotion
They still feel queasy to the stomach
when they see that love is not just
boy meets girl

I am glad we now live in a generation where
love is becoming less monochrome
Where the lgbt community can live a life less secluded and alone
And rainbows fill a sky of potential
for love and acceptance to prosper
Gay is becoming more mainstream
And we don’t cower ashamedly in molehills anymore

So why do I live life in a masquerade ball?
Partially disguised
Why so long to free myself from my trap of conventionality?
For the sake of convention and congeniality
I was caught up for years in the boy-girl story
Of the prince and princess happy ever after
Now I am awake and still feel the stigma
The sting of years of expectation
Like a queen in a PRIDE parade
Saying fuck you to the hetero charade
and wearing my mask
when I truly want to be
exposed and naked

©2020 Sarah Drury

Halo

Inspired by a trip to the beach:

You wore your halo
Of curls
That day
Sea salt kissing sun slick air
Working the art of
Not giving a fuck
Kiss or tell
Truth or dare
Sugar spun promises
Devil don’t care
Luring tastes of tantalising
Tooth-fuck treats

Kiss me quick
Before the sun pays heed to
Your blindly dazzled senses
Kiss me like
I scry in a mirror
With eyes wide shut
Cos soon I wear defences
It is not for I
My nemesis of beauty

You chose a plastic sword
You had inclinations
To be
Archangel Michael
Porcelain fingers in china hand
Gold spun tresses
Pedalling a lunar cycle
Proud sword raised
To heaven’s gate
They don’t give a shit
The angels
A plastic prayer’s
A curse to keep
Faithless
Masquerading faithful
It will be
Choking up the
English Channel
Tomorrow

©2020 Sarah Drury

A Fag, a Joke and a Natter

Happy anniversary in heaven to my husband. Would’ve been ten years today. You were very poorly but we had our love. A very ordinary, working class kind of love but beautiful all the same.

You were nearly broken
But we’d make do
A fag, a joke
A natter
A bit of
Something risqué
A bit of
Something blue
With our
Afternoon brew
We needed that
It saw us through
The shit

We didn’t have
Much time
Together
In this world
Just a few years
I’d call you
My stud
You’d call me
Your girl
I didn’t know
How quickly
Things would unfurl
I was naïve

You were nearly broken
But we lived
Our lives
Like Romeo
And Juliet
Declaring our love
Over a bacon baguette
And a bit of Sky
Tv not
The romantic
Outdoor kind
When your
Body’s fucked
And it’s
Benson & Hedges
That are
Silver lined
With
Imminence

You were nearly broken
But you were
Immaculate
To me
It only took
A shattered mirror
So that all your
Perfect fragments
That the world
Barely
Got to see
Were picked up
In your
Darkest hour
Piece
By broken piece
By me

I broke

©2020 Sarah Drury

Grace

I decided i needed to write something gracious, and dedicate this poem to a woman i still love, even if it was unrequited. She is a beautiful soul.

I see you there
Angel of mercy
Shining
Like a brilliant star
A Da Vinci creation
Illuminating
an inky black sky
Wings of a dove
Protect you
Delicate moonbeam
Blessed am I
To behold such
Magnificence

If I could reach out
And touch you
Would my yearning
Fingers
Topple your grace?
Would my longing
obliterate your
Cistine chapel sky?
Would the delicate
Dove wings
Be sadistically crushed
Under the weight
Of my sinfulness?
Would you die?

For so long I’ve
Suffered under your
Gracious existence
Shadows thwarting
My undying love
I hold onto every syllable
Of your soulful words
With a prayer
That you’ll steal
My very last breath
And I would fall
To my death
Happy to
Have
Known
Your
Perfect
Grace

©2020 Sarah Drury