The M Word

CAUTION: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT

Man sits with his
hand down his pants
Masturbating sir?
Fiddling with your bits?
And that is acceptable

Woman sits with her
hand down her pants
Masturbating madam?
Playing with your clit?
And that is NOT acceptable

He’s
Spanking the Monkey
Jerking the Gherkin
Beating his meat
Waxing the carrot
Tugging the slug
Burping the worm
Playing pocket pinball
Pulling the Pope
He’s wanking
He’s wanking
He’s wanking

And guess what?

WOMEN MASTURBATE

We’re
Auditioning the finger puppets
Fanning the fur
Buttering our muffin
Diddling Miss Daisy
Playing the piano
Petting the bunny
Flicking the bean
Smacking the pony
She’s wanking
She’s wanking
She’s wanking
(but ‘nicely’)

And why do all the
female wanking
euphemisms
Sound so goddam acceptable
So goddam wholesome
So goddam
NICE!

Do we have to be
beautified and stereotyped
even in masturbation?

Is it because it sounds
gentler falling upon
women’s ears?

Or less offensive
Screaming in the ears
of the men?

©2020 Sarah Drury

Flogging

This was inspired by my old neighbour who used to sell her wares on street corners.

WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE

Red hair blazing
Like a fuck me beacon
A barber’s pole but throbbing in male pants
Face a dot to dot of drug induced acne
Parading your heroin chic
Decency don’t mean shit

You never keep your legs shut
Self employment makes it rather draughty
And as a small business you should
Protect your assets
But you can’t get insurance
On gynaecology

Hanging around on seedy corners
Perverts cruising, risking a bruising
Chancing chancers
You don’t know, you don’t know
Flogging your fanny today
Digging your grave when the sun
Mourns your demise
And the dealers
Mourn their suicide pockets

A fuck for the addiction of heroin culture
Shame when your fanny is a currency
You pay in dirty needles
And white powder lines of escapism
For a few moments you’re out of here
Shooting up in Nirvana
Profits in your greedy veins
Coke up your wannabe Beyonce nose

I wish I could help
And the churches say that
No one is beyond redemption
But you’re lost to the devil now
You sold your soul for a moment of heaven
And found your sanctity
In the arms of an addictive addiction
Bride of a heroin fix

©2020 Sarah Drury

Night Nurse

WARNING: EXPLICIT THEMES AND LANGUAGE. 18+

I used to live in an area frequented by prostitutes. It was quite tragic as many of them were doing it to feed a drugs habit. It got me thinking about how hard hit they must’ve been, and also risking their lives. Please don’t take offence at the keyworker bit, it is tongue in cheek. i am not demoting of the role of keyworkers!!

I stand on the
Quarantined corner
Have been doing for
Quite some time
Flogging my nether-nethers
Fucking Coronavirus!
Knocking my business
Out of line

You try having a screw
Two metres apart
Social fucking distancing
And don’t even start
On the hygiene
When has this game
Been about keeping
Fucking clean

You can’t
Wash your hands
After every sordid punter
Loitering around
On a dirty street corner
Hand sanitiser
Doesn’t work on dicks
Risking my life
For a handful of
Dirty pricks

Try giving a blow job
In a surgical mask
Most of these men
Want it
Hard and fast
They look for an
Adrenaline pumped up
Danger screw
And I’m one of
The only few

Have to keep working
Can’t claim the
Coronavirus benefits
Don’t have any tax returns
Government can screw it
If they think I’m
Paying tax
On a few
And far between
Fuck
In these testing times
Finding a punter’s
A matter not of business
But suicidal luck

Call me a maverick
Boris
I bet you’ve had
Your share
Screwing in hotel rooms
With blue rosettes
In your Tory hair

And on Thursday nights
I can stand with pride
And revel in the applause
For I am a keyworker
Boris
Not just one
Of your filthy
Whores

©2020 Sarah Drury