Second Wave

So, we’ve been
in Lockdown
since March 23rd
Stay Home, Stay Safe
Government preaching
the word
Following ‘The Science’
Controlling the R
Social Distancing
Facetiming our parents
from afar
People in isolation
Looking out
at the world
from a pandemic
glass jar
Can’t see our parents
Can’t see our friends
Can’t see our kids
Can’t see our
way out
of this shit

Boris spouting his
propaganda
How we’ve kept
the death rate down
How we’ve reduced
the strain
on the NHS
Fucking hell
I know 32,000 dead
who wouldn’t agree
It’s the Science
It’s the Science
And what about
herd immunity
And you weren’t
one of the immune
Boris

Now restrictions are
being lifted
We can’t go out
but we can
We shouldn’t wear
masks but
we should
We can stand
in a park
with one friend
two metres apart
Jesus, the outdoors
Who’s going to
implement that then?
The police trading in
their truncheons
for tape measures?
What the fuck is
going on
at number 10?

Work at home
but go to work
Walk, walk, walk
I can’t get my
fat arse on a bike
Two cheeks fighting
It would be like
a punch up
in M & S pants
Does he think
that England
will know the steps
to his exit dance
Kids back at school
How the fuck
they gonna implement
the social distancing
rule
Pick their noses
Scratch their arses
Bite their Nailsies
Coronaviruses
The Critical Care beds
may be empty
But that sea’s
a coming
and it’s an enormous
Second
Fucking
Wave

Less of a Woman

I can’t cook
And if I could
I wouldn’t

Does that make me
less of a woman?

I can’t knit
fancy outfits for
newborn babies
I can’t shit
rainbows like
magical unicorns

I can’t follow the
make up tutorials
on YouTube
I don’t shave
my precious pussy

Does that make me
less of a woman?

I can’t teeter around
in heels
I don’t squeeze myself
into sexist ideals

I can’t think
cos I’m psychotic
I can’t scream
cos my mouth is
silenced with the
adjectives of misogyny

Does that make me
less of a woman?

I can’t bear child
cos I’m ‘too old’
I can’t menstruate
cos I’m ‘too old’

I can’t wear bikinis
cos I’m ‘too old’
I can’t masturbate
cos I’m ‘too old’

Does that make me
less of a woman?

I can do what I want
when I fucking want
I can fuck who I want
when I fucking want
I can be who I want
when I fucking want

Does that make me
less of a woman?

©2020 Sarah Drury

Between the Wars

Indigo blue
Inky canvas
One eye open
The other protesting
The estate slumbers
Another day of lockdown
A neighbourhood painted
In shades of apathy
As the world mourns
Its sorry dead

Beryl wakes at the crow
Of the cockerel
Says hello to her husband
Enjoying a pint in Heaven
For the last twenty years
Says a prayer to the virgin Mary
And asks Jesus to save her soul
From the coronavirus
God is her insurance policy
As she ain’t finished yet
In this heathen world

It reminds her of the war
But the bombs don’t fall
And the men aren’t swallowed
Into certain suicide
She would cower inside the
Air raid shelter
As the Luftwaffe played
Russian roulette
Missiles raining down
Picking off saints and sinners alike
And she prayed to Jesus
And he did good

Now the bombs are silent
Yet the killer is stealth-like
Stealing souls
Like a pandemic shoplifter
Light fingered Kelly
Is in good company
Though I’m sure the virus
Ain’t interested in Maybelline
Or L’oreal

Churchill led the nation
Now we have the Tories
No let up from fear mongering
As the media perform
In their catastrophic circus
And the BBC peddle tragedy
Like Boris Johnson is MacBeth
Whilst the government deny
Their role
In digging mass graves
To herd the old
And vulnerable in

She tucks into her egg
And Tetley’s
Another day of inane daytime TV
She heard that people Facetime
But she has no tribe
Jesus is her saviour
And God is her father
And the Virgin Mary
Sheds a tear
For the children
She lost

©2020 Sarah Drury

Coronavirus Mum

WARNING: A FEW SWEAR WORDS

Hands up who’s starting to go mental, cooped up all day, every day, with their nearest and dearest? In my house, it’s just my almost-teen son and I and its challenging! I often go to an open mic night called ‘Away With Words’ in Hull, and due to Coronavirus, the events have gone online. I’ve written this to perform for that event. It’s hopefully a bit of tongue-in-cheek fun!

I must defiantly admit it
I didn’t think coronavirus
Would be so fucking shit
As I’m dragging out my son
From his tweenage stinking boy pit
And he’s sleeping in old pj’s
Cos I ain’t washed shit and nothing fits
It’s hard when you’re alone
And you’re on your own and life is shit
And he’s twelve years old and a bit

I didn’t think home ed
Would be so wrong
Didn’t think that every morning
He’d be singing me a sob song
That I’m working him like Jesus
And Tenko is his theme song
That his friends don’t do no work
And I’m being a cruel bitch all along
Why is my son so fucking headstrong?

I didn’t think self isolation
Would go on forever
I used to think that propaganda’s
Boris just being clever
I always hoped that we would never
Stand so close together
I’m loving that I walk around
In no clothes whatsoever
And that shaving all my hairy bits’
No longer an endeavour
But who needs a shag these days?
Wherever? Whenever?
Our sexy bits will heal up forever!

I didn’t think that shopping
Would be such a joke
I never thought I’d need two hundred
Toilet rolls fought off a bloke
Going round grabbing pasta needing
Harry Potter’s magic cloak
Can’t loiter round the entrance
Choking back a wacky baccy smoke
Standing two metres away
From your hostile Tesco queueing folk
Get your hand sanitiser out
And punch that bloke.

I must defiantly admit it
I didn’t think coronavirus
Would be so fucking shit
I can see half of the country
Panic buying rampant rabbits
And the other half are drowning
In the bog roll when they have to sit
In social distanced bathrooms
With their virus manky halfwits
And folk all over England
Are falling into death pits
When will our fucking country
Get their act together with this shit?
In another six months and a bit!

©2020 Sarah Drury

Night Nurse

WARNING: EXPLICIT THEMES AND LANGUAGE. 18+

I used to live in an area frequented by prostitutes. It was quite tragic as many of them were doing it to feed a drugs habit. It got me thinking about how hard hit they must’ve been, and also risking their lives. Please don’t take offence at the keyworker bit, it is tongue in cheek. i am not demoting of the role of keyworkers!!

I stand on the
Quarantined corner
Have been doing for
Quite some time
Flogging my nether-nethers
Fucking Coronavirus!
Knocking my business
Out of line

You try having a screw
Two metres apart
Social fucking distancing
And don’t even start
On the hygiene
When has this game
Been about keeping
Fucking clean

You can’t
Wash your hands
After every sordid punter
Loitering around
On a dirty street corner
Hand sanitiser
Doesn’t work on dicks
Risking my life
For a handful of
Dirty pricks

Try giving a blow job
In a surgical mask
Most of these men
Want it
Hard and fast
They look for an
Adrenaline pumped up
Danger screw
And I’m one of
The only few

Have to keep working
Can’t claim the
Coronavirus benefits
Don’t have any tax returns
Government can screw it
If they think I’m
Paying tax
On a few
And far between
Fuck
In these testing times
Finding a punter’s
A matter not of business
But suicidal luck

Call me a maverick
Boris
I bet you’ve had
Your share
Screwing in hotel rooms
With blue rosettes
In your Tory hair

And on Thursday nights
I can stand with pride
And revel in the applause
For I am a keyworker
Boris
Not just one
Of your filthy
Whores

©2020 Sarah Drury