Soul Gazing

Soul Gazing

Sun, scorching the breath of the trees.
Birds basking in the kiss of the heat,
Serenading my summertime sadness.
It would be so warm if only
I could feel the pulse of you,
The heart of you.
Be the soul of you.

I see the view around me.
I see couples holding hands,
Gazing into eyes like they
Were gateways to the other.
Lips touch like hearts fluttering
In butterfly cascades.
It would be so thrilling if only
I could feel the essence of you,
The heart of you.
Be the soul of you.

What are we, but souls,
With gowns of fine flesh
And bones to hang our
Many faces on?
What is love but
Undressing our burden of robes?
Standing exposed and vulnerable.
Giving our soul in exchange
For a handful of heaven.

Angels whispering in the shadows of nightfall,
Moonlight painting sighs on solitude.
Ghosts may tell their stories of
Haunting hearts but
It would be so perfect, if only
I could feel the yearning of
Your soul,
The heart of you.
Be the soul of you.
Feel the soul of you.

Sarah Drury 2021

Say

Say

So much to say
To you,
But
So much I
Can’t say.

My tongue, it drips
In words as mute
As echoes
In a blizzard
Of silent
Hush hush whispers.

My mind hurts
With the constant
Cognitive constriction,
Minding my manners
And
Deluding my desires
In cloaks
Of decency.

I want the luxury
Champagne,
But the bubbles
Burst like
Insignificant dreams
Tumbling down
A heartbreak hill.
My tongue knows only
The taste of solitude,
And it is
So lonely,
Sitting in the night
With one glass only.

If only I could speak,
But I can’t.
I am a mute,
In a landscape of
Hollow hearts.

Sarah Drury 2021

My Heart

Ten years
Has my heart been
Slumbering in beds of
Somnolent roses.
All pink and dewy and tender,
And half asleep.
I didn’t intend to nap
For so long,
But the peace was
Heaven, and
Why wake when
Dreams paint such
Sweet, pastel visuals
On my iniquity?

If I see through my heart,
Then there are
No shadows.
Only the softest
Of glimmers
From a moonlit
Sea of
Ethereal emotions.
And if I hear?
Then dissonance
Has no hope amidst the
Resounding clamour
Of clandestine whispers.

And if I feel?
Then I reign with Neptune
In the realm
Of the ocean,
And my senses are
My promise and
My passions are
A premise

And
My heart
Is a gift.

Sarah Drury 2021

Easy

It is not easy
being so sentient
in an anaesthetised world.
I try and fold my feelings
into little origami ships.
Hope they will sail
nonchalantly into
a world where
life doesn’t sting,
anymore.

I can pretend it
doesn’t hurt.
Pretend I have a
heart of polished granite.
I can pretend that feelings
must only feel like
fireworks in the
new year’s sky.
That to feel is
to loiter somewhere
on a permanent,
spiritual high.

But I know
to be real
I need to feel
the stain
of salt kissed tears.
To sing the pain
as it washes through;
it never stays.
And I know I am there,
sometimes.
Origami ships are fragile,
and my skin is like
tissue paper,
and I absorb
the world at times.
And it can be too much.
Sometimes.

But,
it never stays.

Sarah Drury. 2021

Strange

Strange

I must be strange.
That weird girl.
Covid raging,
people dying.
Maybe I shut out
the reality.
Maybe my eyes
see only the beauty
in the world,
when I should weep
and mourn
the ugliness.
But how can I
bear to paint
black
that which sets
free my soul,
as I bask in
the light?
My ears may
not hear the cries
of trauma,
but my soul does,
and I paint them
silent,
and pen them into
translucent echoes.

I must be strange.
That weird girl.
Covid raging,
people dying.
Maybe I shut out
the reality.
Maybe my heart
sees only the goodness
in the world,
when I should pray
and cry for
the desperation.
But how can I
bear to sing
in rhythms of dissonance,
that which sets
free my heart,
as I dance in
the light.
My soul may not
dance with
demons,
but my mind
sees,
and I shut my eyes
and paint the pictures
and write the words
and live in
my kaleidoscope bubble.

Sarah Drury. 2021