Shit Mum

WARNING: SWEARING ALERT! Yesterday was a tough day where I felt like a totally bad parent. I felt like rocking with a teddybear, sucking a dummy and banging my head on a wall! I must defiantly admit it I didn’t think as a mother I would be so shit A northerner, a salt of theContinue reading “Shit Mum”

Resolute

Do not read if swearing shocks you!! Resolute So, it’s a new year And I’m supposed to be making a heartfelt resolution As though being a new me is a miracle bloody solution As though being the old me is a heinous crime And I should be having some sort of criminal prosecution Some sortContinue reading “Resolute”

The Birds and the Bees

How do you have sex mum? How are babies made? Then I glance at my phone And see my son has been asking our friend Google Home And our Google friend is no holds barred He says the penis goes inside the vagina And I gaze at these robotic, grown up words And wonder ifContinue reading “The Birds and the Bees”

Brave

A tribute to my grandfather.. Brave Old gnarled hands Lifetime etched between two palms Hands that served a nation Praising life, not singing psalms Two hands that fought a war That fought in peace when death was calm. Never forgetting your working class roots Never afraid of dirty hands Or the perspiration that came withContinue reading “Brave”

Shout Out to the Perfect Mums

I’m far from a perfect mum. I hardly ever wear make up, slob around in my pj’s, swear like a trooper and feed my kids McDonald’s fodder. So here’s a tribute to the other Stepford wife mums! Shout Out to the Perfect Mums Shout out to the perfect mums Long bleached hair in pristine tousledContinue reading “Shout Out to the Perfect Mums”