I wish I were Piers Morgan

I was trolled on Twitter yesterday and although I know I should take it with a pinch of salt and not really care what others think, just be true to myself, it really unsettled me.

I thought about a journalist cum presenter we have called Piers Morgan, who is fearless, and wished i could be like that too. Not give a shit about the naysayers. It inspired me to write this poem.

I try to be hard
But my marshmallow heart
Feels roasted
My integrity burnt
My tough façade
Graffiti bleeding through
A silk sheet
Peddling grime with the
Street crew
But missing the
Ferociousness of
The beat

And I wish I were
Piers Morgan
Bullshit detector
Extraordinaire
Pheromone eyes
Glinting with
The sting of satire
Tempestuous tweets
Cascading from a
An impetuous beak
With anarchic hair

I wish I had his
villainous, acid tongue
That seared scars
Into fuckwits and enemies
I wish my tongue
Dripped impertinence
A cutlass assassin
Slitting verbal throats
For an
Extortionate
BBC fee

I wish I were
Piers Morgan
I wish I could
Just say
Fuck you
And not
whimper like
Mary Poppins
Failing to have
A satisfactory cum
When she has
A polite and
Impeccable
Screw
And my dreams
Are filled with
The trolls
Painful, excruciating
Screams
As I curse
All their nightmares
With a twist
Of sacrificial voodoo

I wish I were
Piers Morgan
I wish

©2020 Sarah Drury
Image Source: Getty Images

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