It is the 9th anniversary of my husband’s death and it got me thinking about just how faithless my life has become. I struggle each day with anxiety and mental illness and when my husband was here, I coped so much better as he was my rock. I feel like I need something to hold onto, a little more faith. It got me thinking, so here’s something it inspired…

Times like these
I think
Girl
Why do you
Have no faith?
I look around
At the
Absence
Of Sacred Hearts
Of crucifixes
Of candles
Burned to
Blackened charcoal
Wicks
Inspirational religious
Effigies

In my home
Jesus
Does not sit around
With his disciple
fanboys
Turning Evian
Into Chardonnay
Mary doesn’t
Boast about
Her puritan pussy
Or
The fact that
She was able
To suckle Jesus
At the breast

My palms don’t bleed
Stigmata
My crown is insanity
Not thorns

But I feel it
The lack
The emptiness
The feeling
That I am
The spiritual full stop

I will try

I know the universe
Is Bigger
Than
Me

©2020 Sarah Drury