Bipolar Wish

I wish that you could see inside my sick bipolar mind
I wish you could just ride above the judgements of a kind
Where I may seem unstable, flighty, moody, and resigned
To making daisy chains of bits of brain, and then I find
That eyes are staring, no one caring, might as well be blind
My flowers wilting, sadness jilting, trying to leave myself behind
And find a new persona, kill my soul and stab my heart combined
What was the universe’s joke when my crazed spirit it designed?

I wish that you could see inside my sick bipolar head
I wish that you could see how much my insane blood has bled
That some dark nights I fight the scary demons who want me dead
The ghosts of insane battles haunt me, fill my soul with dread
Distract yourself my nurse she says, but harder done than said
At times like these I pray to God and taste her sacred bread
I pray to Jesus free me from the devils that have led
Me to this cage of madness cause my sanity has fled.

I wish that you could feel inside, the radiance that is me
When mania has taken hold, my joy has broken free
I play in heaven, visit angels, joy is all I see
Don’t care who God is whether they’re a she or he or me
I float in dreams of strawberries in cream and make exuberant pleas
To keep me as an angel soaring on marshmallow seas
I’m draped in swathes of love and peace and climbing enlightenment trees
Then God sits down and hands me her crown, we feast on Earl Grey tea.

I wish that you could see inside my sick bipolar mind
For wonders, heartache, pleasure, treasure, miracles you’d find.

©2020 Sarah Drury

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