You said you loved me
When we feasted our eyes it was love at first sight
I could barely see you with my shitty eyesight
And your dodgy white dentures gave me a real fright
And we would have looked better in the fog at midnight
But you loved me.

You said you loved me
When you first held my hand and you squeezed it too tight
When your teeth met my neck, left a blood stained love bite
When you tackled my bra strap with all of your might
When it twanged in your face, knocked you out for the night
But you loved me.

You said you loved me
When your hand slipped down under the strap of my pants
And I kicked your man bits and made your goolies dance
When you couldn’t stand up for your sausage smashed stance
And you looked like strictly dancing with your shit prance
But you loved me

You said you loved me
When you staggered to bed with your bits all aglow
When you’d had your Viagra and didn’t I know
That you’re such a hot bloke that your prick would melt snow
And your ego would bloat as your bits start to grow
But you loved me

You said you loved me
When you left me next day in a state of undress
And said you’d had enough sex a vicar to bless
And you lied, you are pie in the sky, I digress
And I know that you’re famous, you don’t want a mess
So I pick up the phone and I go to the press

And you don’t love me now….

Boris Johnson!

©2019 Sarah Drury